BEFORE THE POLICE - BACK IN THE DAY - OUR FOREMOTHERS WERE THE LAW WE FEARED

Blog by +Wanda Dorn 

BEFORE THE POLICE  -  BACK IN THE DAY  -  OUR FOREMOTHERS WERE THE LAW WE FEARED

I saw this post somewhere.  

Beating and chastising are two different things. When Blacks refer to the "law we feared", I think we are referring more to the respect we had for the Black female mothers and matriarchs than sparing the rod.

Back then, in Black culture we knew if you didn't disciplined your own child, that child could become a statistic.That's what these ladies represented.They not only raised their children, but they raised the extended family's and communities' children as well.  

It was not until we became so acculturated, and is now required by law not to spank our children, that's when we began to have discipline problems with our children. In those days,  children knew not only their parents would stop them from being mischievous, the neighbor's mother, or another relative, or "Sister (whoever)" who lives down the street would do so. 

I remember being mischievous once - my cousin and I dressing up in my Aunt's (her mother's) best clothes.  We got spanked by my Grandmother first when she saw us strolling down the street to her house dressed in big dresses, hats and gloves (not my Aunts old clothes, but her very best. Then my when Aunt arrived, she spanked us,  and when my mother found out, she came over and --- I got it again! I never went into anyone else's house and disrespected it again - not even today!

A client in one of my Personality Development classes said, when she was young, her brother had been harassed by a gang to join their gang. This gang, she said. was not even part of her neighborhood, they were spreading out from another neighborhood. One day when several gang members approached their house, their mother and grandmother went out and confronted the gang, and told them to stay out of their neighborhood. Back then, the women were feared. The gang members never returned! 

It's interesting to note that after these traditions were castrated by the system by taking the discipline control from these thy women,  jails became full of Black children.

These are my thoughts.  On my blog comment section: 

TELL ME WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE ON THIS SUBJECT!

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WHY DO SOME WOMEN PUBLIC FIGURES WEAR PANTS SUITS AND OTHERS WEAR DRESSES?

Blog by +Wanda Dorn 

Hillary Clinton

Carly Fiornia

  

WHY DO WOMEN PUBLIC FIGURES OFTEN WEAR PANTS SUITS WHILE OTHERS WEAR DRESSES?

This Question appeared on Facebook:

Why does Hillary always wear pants?

I'll Tell you why!

As most of my followers know I owned a modeling school and agency.  I created a class and seminar called "FASHIONALITY", which is part of a two-day seminar, or semester class curriculum.

I will not present the on-line seminar now, but will in an upcoming training blog.  I just wanted to quickly address the above question of why the variations in wardrobe styles of women public figures.  Some say it's to seem more powerful, some say it's for comfort, still others say it's because some have no fashion sense.

Wanda Dorn
adornstudios.org

Taken from the 

"Fashionality" Wardrobe and Fashion seminar/class

Here's what "fashionality", "fashion styles",  or "fashion personalities" mean:

Have you gone shopping with friends, and all saw the same dress and loved it, but only one of you could carry off that style? That's where fashion styles and personalities come into play. I have seen a particular fashion in magazines, and no matter how I try to accessorize or work that look - I finally determine, it's just not me; it's just not my fashion style. 

We all have a fashion style. There are several of them, and we all fit into one of them. There are some women who can wear jeans and a mink to a high-fashion event, while other women would wear pastels, pearls, silk and flowers as their comfort style.  You can call it style, personality, or others trainers may choose other terms for it, but I coined the phrase "Fashionality"

When the feminist evolution first found a threshold, powerful women did tend to dress in a more man-tailored look - most likely in a pant suit, or a man-tailored/man-fabric business suit ... but now --- WE ARE FREE TO CHOOSE OUR OWN POWER-FASHION STATEMENT!

The two women in question discussed on Facebook:  Hillary Clinton is one fashion personality, more casual. Carly Fiorina's fashion personality is more conservative, but interestingly enough after you complete the classes, you will see these two figures have more fashionality in common than you think.

What do you think those similarities are?  

In the comment section of this post, tell me what you think, and stay tuned to a blog "Fashionality Seminar" coming soon.

To catch the upcoming Fashionality Seminar Blog, go to my Blogger site, press the "Follow" button Wanda Dorn 

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THE BATHROOM ATTENDANT AIRS ON TV IN THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA 11/14/15 @ 2:00 pm KOFY TV - SO SET YOUR DVR's!

Blog by +Wanda Dorn 
 

THE BATHROOM ATTENDANT

The Comedy Short Film

The Bathroom Attendant is a multi-award-winning short film Written and Directed, I'm proud to say, by my son Deon H. Hayman, starring Shay Roundtree, Hrach Titizian, J. Michael Briggs, Anne Judson-Yager, Trinecia Moore-Pernell, James Babbin, and Matt Kohler.

The film will be aired locally in the San Francisco Bay Area on Saturday, November 14, 2015 @ 2:00 pm, on KOFY TV. 

So everyone in the Bay Area - set your DVD's!

TBA has aired around the nation recently receiving nothing but rave reviews!  So, record, sit back and enjoy.

My Heartfelt Message to: BLACK LIVES MATTER --- Learn to know Who - What - Where - When - And How To Pick Your Fights!

Blog by +Wanda Dorn

L.A. Clergy Demand Apology From Black Lives Matter - Los Angeles Sentinel

MY HEARTFELT MESSAGE 

TO BLACK LIVES MATTER

LEARN TO KNOW

 WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, AND HOW 

TO PICK YOUR FIGHTS

I agree with the Clergy demanding an apology from Black Lives Matter disrupting speeches of people who came to say that they want to help.  Hear them out first ...

Go disrupt the Republican candidates, the Congress, the Senate and the police department's diversity meetings, etc. That's where your fights are.  

Unfortunately, often newly found recognition leads to excitement in being noticed. There's a time to talk and a time to demonstrate. Disrupting meetings is not the time to demonstrate. It's the time to, as said in Malcolm X movie, "look", "listen", "hear", "learn" and "understand", what the speaker has to say.  Also from the Malcolm X film:  "be careful of 'dem camras".  Even Malcolm himself fell prey to his notoreity and "dem camras".

As many young people would say, "put the older civil rights leaders out".  But young leaders could look, listen, hear, learn and most importantly understand what your role is from the older civil rights leaders who strategically and successfully picked their fights.  

From reading the article in the LASentinel, you didn't know what to do with the fact that Garcetti (and Hillary Clinton) has a right to speak to other groups without disruption and without your permission. Your group does not speak for everyone. 

How would you like it if others disrupted your events for their own agenda, or because they weren't consulted first. This is especially true about a meeting where the group is asking the persons in power and/or going to be in power where they stand.  If they didn't stand in the right place before, are they going to change their stance? You don't know because you didn't  stop, look, listen, hear and understand nor ask where that speaker will be coming from in the future. If they aren't going to come from where you believe they should in the future, then offer your demands in their discussion - don't try to take it over.

More often you get more by not being seen, but by strategizing a way to be heard without confrontation. 

Confrontation only leads to Blacks against Blacks, and that is a position you should not be creating. You should be creating dialog and peace among the community; resorting to marches and protests only when all our voices (not just yours) have not been heard, and after we all find that there is no other recourse but to stage more drastic actions. 

Believe it or not the people who came to hear the speakers should be respected too. 

Those guests, churches, groups and organizations have a right to invite people they feel they want to hear from so they can answer the questions their group or organization members want. If you have problems with a church group or organization inviting someone to speak, take it up with them. Even then, they don't have to answer to any other group as to whom they want to hear speak.

Believe me, there will be many such events as we continue the fight, and if you disrupt each one of them, people will begin to not take you seriously.

BLACK LIVES MATTER group, this is a heartfelt message because I support the work you're doing, but, please learn to  ---  know who, what, where, when, and how to pick your fights for the purpose of results and not for posturing‬‪...

... And continue doing good works!  

By the way, Mr. Moriah is a wonderful church!

BAYARD RUSTIN: THE ARCHITECT OF THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON

Blog by Wanda Dorn - Wednesday Oct .28 2015

Bayard Rustin

 

BAYARD RUSTIN: ARCHITECT OF THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON

We often don't give credit where credit is due

He was the mastermind behind Martin Luther King, Jr's "NON-VIOLENT MOVEMENT"

Bayard Rustin - the architect of the "March on Washington" along with A. Philip Randolph

I THOUGHT IT IMPORTANT THAT WE SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT in terms of what this man did in his wisdom by teaching and training others like Martin Luther King

Bayard Rustin's public recognition and ability to claim his contributions was thwarted by the fact he was reported to be homosexual during those miss-educated times. 

"Known as the “Architect of the March on Washington,” Bayard Rustin was a tireless crusader for civil rights in the nonviolent tradition of Mohandas Gandhi. Rustin initiated the Freedom Ride movement by leading 1947′s Journey of Reconciliation, and played an instrumental role in the organization of 1963’s Great March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. After the great legislative civil rights victories of the mid-1960s, he began to focus specifically on the financial problems of unemployed African Americans and working- class Americans in general. His later work with the A. Philip Randolph Institute tackled both racial and economic injustices, and he fought tirelessly for the civil rights of members of the gay community.

Upbringing and Early Civil Rights Activities

Bayard Rustin was raised in the town of West Chester, Pennsylvania, by his maternal grandparents. Because of his grandmother’s active involvement with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), Rustin grew up in the company of American civil rights leaders such as James Weldon Johnson and W.E.B. Du Bois

Rustin’s interest in political activism began at an early age. As a high school student, he rallied his fellow students to combat segregationist policies at the local YMCA and West Chester’s Warner Theater. He also organized protests at segregated department stores, restaurants, and soda fountains throughout the region. In addition to his talent for leading and inspiring others, young Rustin was widely regarded as a gifted athlete, singer, writer, and involved student. In 1932, he was awarded a vocal scholarship to Wilberforce University in Wilberforce, Ohio. His musical abilities supported subsequent studies at Cheyney State Teachers College in Cheyney, Pennsylvania.

Shortly after relocating to New York City in 1937, Rustin began working for the Fellowship of Reconciliation (FOR), an interfaith religious group that continues to fight for social justice using tenets of nonviolent action and passive resistance. While serving as youth secretary at FOR. he helped fellow civil rights activists George Houser, Bernice Fisher, and James L. Farmer, Jr., as they were forming the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE). Although he isn’t recognized as an official founder of CORE. Rustin was instrumental in establishing the organization’s fundamental nonviolent principles.

Rustin’s dedication to pacifism was more than purely philosophical. Rather than accept induction into the military as a result of the World War II draft, he served two years in the Lewisburg Federal Penitentiary. While imprisoned, Rustin organized and implemented FOR’s Free India Committee. Several years later, he made a personal trip to India in order to learn strategies of nonviolent resistance from key members of the Gandhi-led civil rights movement. Over the course of his career as a political activist, Rustin was arrested on several occasions for attending protests against British colonialism in India and elsewhere.

A Giant of the American Civil Rights Movement

In 1947, Rustin and fellow FOR staff member George Houser organized the historic Journey of Reconciliation, a protest against segregated public transportation that predated the famous Freedom Rides of the 1960s by well over a decade. For a period of two weeks, Rustin and 13 other #black and white protesters rode interstate busses throughout the southern United States, refusing to take their places within the established segregated seating system. As a consequence of this radical act, Rustin was arrested and sentenced to hard labor on a prison chain gang.

Rustin&8217;s association with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., began in 1956 when he was recruited to provide key advice in the field of nonviolent Gandhian tactics. The very next year, he helped Dr. King establish the powerful and influential Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC).

Bayard Rustin is perhaps most remembered as a principal organizer of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. Coordinating and supervising logistics for this monumental event, he scheduled speeches, oversaw security, directed transportation, and even procured 80,000 sandwiches to feed hungry marchers. Packing more than 250,000 people into Washington’s National Mall, the event was an enormous success. A week later, Rustin and fellow organizer A. Philip Randolph were featured on the cover of Life magazine.

In 1965, Rustin and A. Philip Randolph collaborated once again as cofounders of the A. Philip Randolph Institute (APRI). Connecting civil rights issues to a general struggle for safe and fair working conditions, the APRI continues to operate today as a division of the AFL-CIO.

Over the remainder of the 1960s, Rustin traveled throughout the United States and the world to organize demonstrations and speak out against a wide range of social, political, and economic injustices. He also returned to his hometown of West Chester to lead fair housing protests and address racial disparities in the local school system.

For much of his later career, Rustin monitored human rights and international election procedures for the Washington, DC-based non­governmental organization Freedom House. He also lent considerable support to a critical New York State gay rights bill.

Suffering from a perforated appendix, Rustin passed away on August 24, 1987. He is remembered as a champion of the little man with strong pacifist beliefs and an abiding respect for the ideals of democracy and humanism. Over the years, a number of buildings have been named in his honor including the Bayard Rustin Educational Complex in Manhattan; the Bayard Rustin Social Justice Center in Conway, Arkansas; and Bayard Rustin High School in his hometown of West Chester, Pennsylvania.

The post Bayard Rustin appeared first on Black Heritage Commemorative Society."

*EVERYONE!   The new RUSTIN movie is a MUST SEE - out now 11/27/24

Colman Domingo - star of "Rustin" movie

Cast of "Rustin" movie

Deon Hayman Singing 80's music on I-5.

MICHAEL JACKSON, BILL COSBY - Media vs. African American Male Public Figures

Blog by +Wanda Dorn 

The Media vs. African American Male Public Figures

Below is a blog I wrote about Michael Jackson as the media assassination continued even after his death.   This article appeared in the Huffington Post back in July, 2009 

Just wanted to share how similar the Bill Cosby media assassination is as it continues to unfold. Remember, Michael was found "not guilty" even after most had rushed to judgement and persecuted him based on  media frenzy

 Check out my two new Blogs on Cosby 

Subject:      Michael Jackson and African American Public Figures Vs. The Media

Date:      July 8, 2009 10:31:49 PM PDT

To:      scoop@huffingtonpost.com

“Now perhaps Michael can rest in peace from the biased media.  Like in life, breaking down barriers, Michael has introduced the insensitive media to a new thought, African American males are not fair game for insensitive, biased and racially angry style coverage.

Michael has not been proven guilty.  White males have been sued for many things where they pay people off. When you have un-classy persons as the boy and mom whom Michael went to trial against comes forward for money you fight or you pay.  Note that during the trial, their time-line was not on point, something that you wouldn't do if you were telling the truth.  If everyone remembers, the Jackson family was there in force despite the reports that they don't get along, including Father Joe.  They are always there for each other.   Remember, they also filing for malicious prosecution because of the influence of the media's zealous on the prosecution staff.  I understand why they didn't, because it would have given the media pendants more fuel for their "opinions".

As for Michael sleeping with children, Elvis slept in the same bed with a teenaged girl for years, imported her across state and country lines.  No one called him a pedophile, no one wanted him charged and arrested.  Woody Allen admitted not only sleeping with his own teen daughter, but admitted having sex with his underage daughter, and no one wanted him charged and arrested.

As for Michael and drugs:  Elvis died in a drug bed and yet he's called a hero and people run around saying their idol "is still alive".  In movies like "Independence Day" life imitates art where people have banners to aliens "bring back Elvis".  If fans can worship Elvis and disregard his disgraceful history, African Americans and all ethnicities and peoples of the world can love Michael for his excellence and disregard "allegations" of wrongdoings without newscasters trying to tell us how his fans should feel.

As for Michael having a doctor with him at home, I am from the Elvis era, and was in the arts when Michael was, as Brooke Shields said, Michael was five starting his career.  Therefore, I followed the positives and negatives of both Elvis and Michael.  It was reported that Elvis, while in the military, I believe, was found to have spent several days locked up in a room with drugs and a doctor.   Locked up, meaning no one was allowed in.    We all know that Elvis was a drug addict during most all his career.  We are really just now hearing that perhaps Michael allegedly had problems in recent years; certainly he didn't have a drug problem all those years ago when he began to break records and break down barriers.  That is what we celebrate.  Even if the allegations are by a stretch of my imagination true, he's dead now.  My Mother said "If you don't have anything good to say about the dead, don't say anything".

I hope the media and other "holy" persons, will remember since the media is dominated by people who are of one ethnic group, the news commentators don't have dictatorship over to whom we world believes the world's leaders and icons are.  It seems that our African American male public figures are treated as a non-entity, with disregard as to how many and whom it hurts, not just the public figure, but their family, their income, their friends, and very importantly, their professional careers.  White male counterparts seem to be forgiven, protected and/or certainly reported on with more sensitivity.

As regards the soldiers coming home on the same day as Michael's memorial and receiving no coverage.  You have your President Bush to thank for that.  He dictated that there be no coverage of the soldiers returning home, did you get upset and complain about him doing that as a rule, and not just one day that Michael was memorialized.  If those who are so against Michael receiving a little of our time, tell the media and the world to tare down "Graceland" because Elvis was a pedophile, a drug addict and is still worshipped by some just as Michael will continue to be in "all" of our life times.

I can go on with parallels of the media's reporting biased, especially when reporting about African American male figures.  I thank Michael for continuing to do in death what he did in life, care about people by making changes.”   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Let me just add that I saw a documentary on Ike Turner who said it was Elvis Presley and Red Fox who re-introduced him to drugs by having the drugs in a hotel room and almost forcing the drugs on him. 

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10 MISTAKES PROFESSIONALS MAKE DURING CONVERSATIONAL SMALL TALK

Blog by +Wanda Dorn       #wandascafe         

10 Mistakes Professionals make 

During Conversational Small Talk 

In the corporate arena it's not only what you say it's how you say it

Here are 10 Important tips on how to be a good conversationalist

65% of our communication is non-verbal, and only 35% is verbal.

Wanda Dorn
Chief Facilitator

1.  Watch your body language or what might be referred to as your non-verbal communications, which can be gestures, facial expressions, posture, or body movements.

2.  Take the words "I", "me", "my", and "mine" out of your conversations and replace them with "you", "we", "ours", and "yours" .  When talking with others get them to talk about themselves.  Everybody wants to be somebody, the more important you make people feel, the more they will identify with you.

3.  Don't allow others to continue making disparaging remarks about others.  You should take the lead and defend that person by saying, for instance "That may not be quite true...",  or "While what you said may be true, but I would  prefer to change the subject."

4.  Listening is probably the most important thing to remember in conversation, and probably the most difficult to adhere to. When you are really listening to what the other person is saying, you can't be creating or rehearsing to yourself what you are going to say back to them in response.  

Be a good listener, it will win friends and influence people. There is the adage that says "We were given two ears and one mouth so that we may listen twice as much and speak twice as less."   

5.  Voltaire said the secret to being a major bore in conversation is "telling everything"!  Very important: "Your personal life or personal problems" or "others personal life or problems" should not be the topic of a conversation in the professional world, and it is not a subject for casual conversation among friends either.   

Telling your business sometimes means telling a friend's business as well.  I often repeat this phrase to my clients in my training classes, "Learn to play your cards close to the chest".

6.  Discussing a "no - no" subject in a careless and forceful manner shows a lack of class.  

Avoid subjects that are depressing.

I don't have to say this to most of you because we've all heard it before:  The subjects of "religion", "politics", "race", and "economics" should not be discussed in the professional environment, and they are sensitive subjects for discussion in  the social arena.  Leave these subjects for corporate meetings where these subjects have been placed as an item on the agenda up for discussion in a controlled environment. 

7.  Don't just talk to be talking.  make sure what you are about to say is pertinent to the conversation.  If you find yourself talking to be talking, it might be necessary for you to change the conversation.

8.  Don't ask personal questions, not even among friends.

9.  Don't be jealous!  Work to take jealousy out your codes of behavior.  Black women, we are familiar with the term "crab syndrome".  Why should you envy your sister's success.  Be proud of others' achievements.  I have a blog entitled: The Ten Commandments of Forty:  The Things You Should Do Before You're Forty".   If you feel you should compliment someone, go ahead and compliment them.  If you feel you should thank someone, thank them.

Watch for chances to help your sister;  I think the reason behind the crab syndrome is many of us have never been the boss or CEO.  There is no way to know how it feels and what effect jealousy has on the workplace until you have walked a mile in your own mover-and-shaker shoes.  Most of us have never owned our own company and don't realize the struggle small business owners encounter.... a blog for another day!

10.  Don't disagree with others by being disagreeable.  We know Martin Luther King said we can all disagree without being disagreeable.  

Don't try to argue a point, or clarify the point.  Never say "you're wrong".   You can say "I understand your position, but let me just add"... etc.  You can't win friends and influence people when you call them out for being wrong.

The hardest thing for us to do is to admit when we are wrong.  Here is where you should go ahead and apologize by simply saying something like, "I think I was wrong"... or "I was wrong",.. or "I made a mistake". 

Click the FOLLOW button if you would like to read my latest blogs from my "Etiquette Codes of Behavior" Seminars in the areas of Etiquette, Diversity, and Culture.  Read my blog:  "The Ten Commandments of Forty:  The Things You Should Do Before You're Forty"

Visit my website at:  http:///www.adornstudios.org