DEBUTANTE BALLS AND COTILLIONS

This Debutante Ball or Cotillion is beautifully illustrated under the umbrella of my surrogate sister and late brother-in-love's daughter Ania's Ray's Debutante Cotillion BallDEBUTANTE BALL ETIQUETTE

AND THE AFRICAN AMERICAN DEBUTANTE COTILLION "What is a Debutante Ball" some might say "What is a Cotillion"

A cotillion debutante ball, sometimes called a "coming-out" party where she makes her first appearance in fashionable society. It is a special event and the young ladies are "formally introduced into society"; usually presented by societal organizations and group in the spring or summer. They are normally held during their junior or senior year of high school.

A debutante ball or cotillion, in many traditions, most people believed them to be for the wealthy and socially influential families, but the cotillions or "deb" balls today is a wonderful way for young women to gain some of the very required manners and etiquette she will need to become an elite accomplished professional later in life. Some society groups present cotillion deb balls for young men as well as well as the young ladies.

Debutantes are usually presented into society lavishly resembling a ballroom dance where elegant finger food or formal dinner is served in a manner that allows them to can mix and mingle with family and friends.

HOW TO BECOME A DEBUTANTE

Among Black societal groups, you will find the cotillion debutante balls are presented more often by "Greek Letter Sororities" (sometimes Fraternities), because these groups recognize the positive effect this societal introduction has more meaning than just a coming-out party. Also, it provides the proud parents a great opportunity for them to "brag". There may be churches and other organizations presenting as well - you might check around for as well.

Most ball presenters consider the character of the debs such as their academics, activities, community involvement, and other requirements as they specify. A fee and other expectations are required as the presenting group will lay out.

Some schools incorporate into their high school system an etiquette program, a simple manners program, and some may offer cotillion balls. I love that idea, since I had my own school working with high-school-age young ladies, worked at a high schools, as well as many groups and organizations focusing on the betterment of young Black women. When they say the words "deb balls", I get excited as you can probably tell.

WHAT DO DEBUTANTES DO

Traditionally, the girl asks the boy to the ball. Dinner, speeches, and ballroom dancing are almost always features of the evening. So be selective in the date you pick, because your date represents you.

Cotillion debutante balls may require more before-the-ball instructions surrounding social etiquette and appropriate morals.

Cotillion deb Balls sort of take on the traits of high school proms since they are associated with students or a school function. So students usually go with formal dates or with an informal group of friends.

It is my recommendation that parents introduce your Deb to another formality, and that is; spend lots of money -- order a limousine for this and many other occasion as appropriate!

At least one limo trip is a requirement to complete my Etiquette and Protocol Training class. It will be beneficial later for dating and business, professional associations and networking. I teach my young women the model's way on how to enter and exit limos; traveling in a limo manners; and the proper etiquette to graciously handle refreshments in the limo. When I work with deb balls, I ask the presenters to make a limo ride be part of the requirements. I also ask that one of the activities surrounding the ball would be to incorporate a brief lesson on how to be a good conversationalist, because parents, relatives and friends who come to the ball will, parents will be watching and bragging.

Ballroom dancing is often a part of the ball, traditionally but not considered a mandatory activity, but practice the art.

WHAT DO DEBUTANTES WEAR

The dress code is strictly a floor-length pure white ball gown accompanied with long white gloves. Pearls are recommended. Since there are so many etiquette developmental activities before and surrounding the event; for those additional occasions, be prepared to wear the best casual, upscale casual, and/or what you might wear to church. One activity I find beneficial is the Mother-Daughter events, building that relationship.

The night of the event: Follow the directives of your presenters, but be as formal as you can be! I could list here what formal gowns I would recommend, but each presenter group has a theme, so listen carefully, follow their instructions and select only a gown that you love and you feel comfortable in. There are stores that specialize in Prom or Ball gowns. I advise that you don't select or wear what you don't feel comfortable in at first try-on. Remember, if you don't really like what you select to wear, you are not going to be comfortable and may let that cloud your ability to have a ball -- "great" experience!

The dress code for the young men escorts is the gentlemen should rent and wear a long-tail black tuxedo, white shirt, white bow tie, white gloves, with white waist-coat. It has been known that the parents of the deb sometimes pays for the tux rental.

Ladies! your escorts are waiting! Ania front left


Ania and escort

Ania and escort

Ania & escort Ballroom dance (L)

WHAT IS A CURTSY - HOW TO CURTSY

A curtsy is a "courtesy" gesture to show respect and gratitude; normally to someone of a higher social rank, age or status. That's why most think balls are for the affluent. The curtsy gesture is the ultimate mark of respect. There are several styles of elegant curtsies. The "court curtsy" is what I will demonstrate here. It is a deep-head-down but elaborate pose. stand flat-footed with your best posture, then lift your right (or left) foot and place the right (or left) foot (whichever foot you like) behind the heel of the other foot. Bend your knees - The longer it takes you to go down - and the deeper you go down - and the longer you stay down shows more respect.!

I recently saw a video of Meghan Markle, The Dutchess of Sussex, practicing her curtsy before she met Queen Elizabeth. The Deb curtsy might differ from that of the formality of meeting the Queen. Notice Meghan lifted her skirt. With balls full formal dress - no need to lift - just bow.

I remember Michelle Obama, First Lady, received (loving) criticism when she placed her arm around the Queen. Michelle said she was not aware of that "royal protocol".

You see what touch of elegant etiquette the balls tend to introduce into the life-style of the societal coming-out young woman, and how much it can play an important roll in her future.

Your Presenters will teach you the curtsy they like. Follow their protocol.

Ania is displaying her beautiful "Court" Curtsy"

Here is a "Collective" Curtsy

Brenda Ray The lady (relaxing at home) who raised my beautiful God Daughter to be the elegant young lady (I'll say she already was) when she entered the cotillion ball and gained more!

Ania has since graduated Tuskegee just as her Dad Carl did before her. I was honored to be at her graduation. Mom Brenda graduated San Jose State.